


Changes Made

by pyrrhical (anoyo)



Category: Merlin - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-01
Updated: 2009-11-01
Packaged: 2018-05-18 14:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5931415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anoyo/pseuds/pyrrhical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwen was the first to find out, on accident. Later, Merlin wouldn't remember even what it was that she had seen, only that she had. She accepted him, because he was Merlin, friend, and that was what Gwen did. It was a relief for her to know, because it meant that not all of Camelot could see his magic as evil. Gwen kept Merlin's secret as her own, and their days continued.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Changes Made

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 11/1/09 [here](http://merlin-flashfic.livejournal.com/38115.html).

Gwen was the first to find out, on accident. Later, Merlin wouldn't remember even what it was that she had seen, only that she had. She accepted him, because he was Merlin, friend, and that was what Gwen did. It was a relief for her to know, because it meant that not all of Camelot could see his magic as evil. Gwen kept Merlin's secret as her own, and their days continued.

When Arthur was given the truth, Merlin felt the dread of the secret itself replaced with the dread of Arthur's reaction. With Gwen as his ally, Merlin lived through the days of Arthur's consideration. As both his heart and his destiny had been telling him all along, Merlin leaned into Arthur's acceptance as the end of his struggle.

In clarity that only hindsight can afford, both of these revelations were overshadowed by that which Merlin ought to have guessed would be the most important telling of all. His complacency within safety left him ill prepared for the little mistake that would make Morgana aware. He had known of Morgana's magic, and of Morgana's acceptance of magic as a creature onto itself, neither good nor evil, for a length of time. He had not worried.

Merlin had forgotten the rule of secrets: shared secrets are the strongest, and the most deadly when not mutually acknowledged.

The ferocity with which Morgana reacted to Merlin's instinctual magic, regardless of its purpose in protecting her, was not something Merlin had predicted. He saw it as irrational, at first, until his own wisdoms returned to him. Gaius was what Merlin had always had; Morgana had no such moral or magical guide. Merlin, who had been there all along, could have been that guide, but he had abandoned her.

An abandoning that she would never forgive.

The unexpected is as much a part of Destiny as the every day, the understood. It is the unexpected for which remorse is felt, "what if" is spoken, and growth is had. Merlin would wonder, when all was said and done in marble atop a hill, if none of it had ever needed to happen. 

Impossible to know, but also impossible to truly conceive, for if one detail had changed, how much of the Destiny they had lived, and accepted, would have been rewritten? Would it have been Destiny at all, if it could have been prevented? What else would have been forced to change?

Breaking thoughts, for another life. Merlin could always regret his choices, but he would never undo them: despite the pain, too much good had been done. That, for now, was enough.


End file.
